Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
