Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
