he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
