Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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