Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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