ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
