We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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