this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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