Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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