he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
