One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
