BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
