I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
