she woke up with a sticky ear
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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