the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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