do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
