the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
