I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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