i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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