Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
