I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
