If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Randomize
