Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize