Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Randomize
