i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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