Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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