Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize