worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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