those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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