Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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