Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
