I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
being pregnant is like rehab
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
