Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
