question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Vodka?
Forever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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