i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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