It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
