Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize