Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

(650): View more from California

Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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(283): View more from Ohio

she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

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(678): View more from Georgia

Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(650): View more from California

That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.

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(727): View more from Florida

don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.

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(516): View more from New York

I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much

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(312): View more from Illinois

I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!

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(719): View more from Colorado

One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.

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