Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
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That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
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If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.