She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Less talking, more tequila
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit