I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
