they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
