it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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