does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
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You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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