You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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