even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
