omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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