Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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