No, drunk sperm still make babies.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
