this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize