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That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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