We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
