Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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