i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
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I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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