I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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