So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
did i just pee glitter
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
