He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
