There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
