my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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