Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
