JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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