i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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