Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
