Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
