i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
