You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
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Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize