I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
