dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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