He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
